I was drowning in grief

From childhood trauma and addiction to faith, healing and hope — Malcolm Lamont’s story is one of powerful redemption.

Malcolm Lamont’s childhood was dominated by trauma and tragedy. His twin brother died at eight days old, his dad was paralysed by a drunk driver when he was just one and he was placed in care when his mum could no longer cope.

At his children’s home, children were beaten and kept in pyjamas for months at a time to stop them running away. Rebelling against authority became Malcolm’s norm and by 16 he was in borstal.

“My childhood was traumatic and I often felt lost and abandoned,” he says.

To cope, Malcolm turned to drugs and alcohol, with crime to support his addictions. A string of convictions led to years in and out of prison.

Tragedy struck again and again. Malcolm lost his brother Nigel to a heroin overdose, then his other brother was murdered.

“Losing both brothers in such tragic circumstances was almost unbearable. My heart felt like an endless void as grief turned to anger and despair. I spiralled further and further into addiction thinking nothing could ever bring me back.”

Malcolm got a wake-up call after yet another prison sentence. “My friends told me, ‘If you don’t get out of Coventry you’ll end up dead’.”

So he moved to Derby to a Christian rehab. Things began looking up. Malcolm married, but heartbreak struck again when the couple lost their daughter Danielle at birth.

“I was drowning in grief,” he says. Malcolm hit the bottle and his marriage broke under the weight of grief and addiction.

This was rock bottom, but the turning point came when he attended addiction recovery project Celebrate Recovery. Taking one look at him, group leader Tony Turner said: “This isn’t for you, you’re too far gone” and helped him back into rehab.

Malcolm was struck by a sign he saw there: ‘You can’t change your past but you can change your future’.

“It was like someone had hit me over the head,” he says. “I would have walked over hot coals to have my relationship with my daughters back, but alcohol and drugs had taken such a hold.

“I stayed in rehab for 18 months to get free, which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I was welcomed with open arms despite my past. For the first time I felt a flicker of hope.”

Here, Malcolm encountered Jesus. He read the Bible and was captivated by its stories of redemption and forgiveness.

“I started to understand that my past didn’t define me, that I was a child of God, worthy of love and a second chance.

“I surrendered my life to Jesus. The chains of addiction began to break as I sought a clean and Godly life. The more I learned about God’s unwavering love, the more I wanted to live for him.”

His life was completely transformed. He is now engaged to Alison and has reconnected with his daughters Jessica and Nicole, and his three grandchildren. He works for Severn Trent Water as an HGV driver and is a member of Elim’s Derby City Church.

“I’ve witnessed first-hand the healing faith can bring. My relationship with God gives me strength to face life’s challenges. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that even in the middle of unimaginable pain and loss there is hope in Jesus. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, I assure you God’s love is there waiting for you.”

This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.